I love taking her to school. I love seeing all the kids running around without reason, the oversized bags they carry, the simplicity of their relations with one another.
And their honesty.
As I bent down to kiss her goodbye, another student looks at me quizzically. She then turns to C and tugs her jumper...
Hey, C who is that?
Oh, that's my brother.
Really? How come he's so black?
Ouch. If you weren't such an adorable four year old...
I'll never be the face on your bedroom wall
And I'll never be the lifeline
You might call me amazing...
As the track looped over and over, I bathed in the past. Swimming through endless thoughts, searching for memories. Where is the scene in my life that accompanies this song? I've got to have this on my soundtrack.
Stuck in traffic...
Why does everyone have their lights on?
That's right, it's September 11.
Again in deep thought, searching for understanding. But this is beyond me...
One thing I do know is that I will never forget this day, last year.
Was there a song that captured the moment?
I switched on my headlights and turned off the radio.
Either you're part of the problem or part of the solution; What's you're contribution to life?
I'd like to think I was the latter. Let's try and do something about it.
In an attempt to feel some sort of satisfaction and fulfillment in my life I put my hand up for volunteer work. Rewind to three months ago...
From a weekly church newsletter I was intrigued by a notice calling for volunteers to help people sufferring from mild mental disorders. It was a Saturday morning when I took the first step to visit the St Vincent De Paul's Society. The day was spent introducing prospective volunteers to the details of the program. Basically it is a buddy system designed to help these people, who had been isolated due to their illness, back into society.
Several weekends' of workshops and intense interviews passed before I was finally matched with a peer. I talked to his case worker first, who wanted to know a bit about myself, to determine whether I was suitable or not. More weeks passed until I was given the green light to meet my peer.
From the description given to me, I gathered that his name was M, lived by himself, studied at TAFE and worked at KFC. (I've gotta stop talking about KFC)...
The Meeting - Saturday, Chatswood Bay Swiss...
I scanned the outdoor tables with an imaginary S on my chest. Who here looks like they need my help?
From the way I was acting, it should have been me...
I tried to behave. I kept reminding myself - don't be too quiet, don't be too overwhelming, don't talk too much, don't...
I glanced at everybody, hoping that someone would put their hand up. It was like walking out of an unfamiliar airport and my driver had forgotten to bring the piece of cardboard with my name on it. But he knew what I looked like, and remembered my name...
Mario!
I had completely walked by him, thinking he wasn't one of the usual suspects. My first impression was that he looked like a shorter version of Eminem. Not so much as in his dress sense or mannerisms, but his face and build. His case worker was also present. I mistook her for an English backpacker.
Don't be prejudice...
After polite introductions we began polite conversation. At first it was very weird. I wanted to talk to him. To engage him with eye contact, directing my voice and actions towards him. His reply would always be towards his case worker. I tried not to think much of it. Maybe he wasn't at ease with me. Maybe this is what a blind date with a third wheel feels like...
When the case worker left, I felt obliged to stay back and talk to him one on one. Judging from his responses, I could sense he felt the same obligation. It was a polite yarn on movies, music and his illness. I tried not to touch onto the last subject, but felt a sense of relief after hearing him talk about it openly. Prior his mentioning I felt uneasy talking about watching A Beautiful Mind and Fight Club the night before...
With the last sip of Pineapple juice, I stood to shake his hand. It was nice to meet him. I did have a good time. We exchanged phone numbers and promised to call. We walked in opposite directions, and after three paces took a quick glance back, trying to remember who we had spent the last hour with...
